Ask husband to disown his mother?

My husband and I are happily married and run our marriage our way( my way) Im not a traditional woman and have no time to to be a slave to my house. He gets annoyed sometimes when he gets home from work and the house is a mess and he says cause I dont work i should chip in but im no push over and hire a cleaner to work three times a week but his mother is the oppisite a supposed kind women who "takes care of her family" shes alwas coming roundand offering to babysit and im getting really annoyed by it as she is trying to insinuate im a bad mother to my 13 year old daughter. She also brings round food, as if I dont know how to use a stove, weve had lots of arguments about this lately and are even down to only having sex three times a week, ive tld him my problems but he says its her way. Im seriously thinking about giving him an ultimatum me or her? who does he actually think hes married to cause he can have her if thats the case.